CharlieGirl

church.

charliegirl — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 04:03:30 +0000

I put on my sweater dress and Frye boots

filled my travel mug with coffee and a generous pour of heavy whipping cream

bundled my baby

and slammed the car door shut, 10 minutes later than Jonny wanted to leave.

The first Sunday–our foray into finding a new church family.

And I sat in the pew with a smirk in my heart.

What’s my deal?

I keep wondering, wondering…

“Why do I go to church?”

The sermons.

“But I can watch Driscoll or Chandler on my laptop, in my own comfy bed.”

OK, the community.

“I’m social. I can just make nice friends.”

But there’s a deeper level of commitment within a church body. There’s the week-by-week structure, the mercy meals, the Bible studies…

(By the way…if church is all about knowing and being known…how does that work in a small town, where you don’t want to tell the wrong person the wrong thing? Not that I need to be all, ‘My name is Charlie and these are my problems’, but I want to be real with people. How does that work? How can I trust?)

I blame church for making me a dumb sheep in my late teens and early twenties. In my heart, I wish I’d just sinned with relish and vigor instead of following a set of beliefs I didn’t fully embrace. I’d rather have been MYSELF.

(But I know that’s ridiculous. Being a dumb sheep kept me safe, and it’s my own fault I was dumb, not the church’s.)

I don’t want to take stands on things, such as gay marriage, etc. It makes me feel like a jerk.

I associate church with Victorianism (just google the criticism to Mark Driscoll’s new book on marriage…)

And…I don’t really feel like writing about it anymore. In some ways, I feel like I’m just beating the church when it’s down–demanding it to be something it simply can’t.

Bottom line:

I HAVE A BABY AND I NEED TO FIGURE MY STUFF OUT.

If only we could follow Lucy’s example and poop our pants loudly, right when the pastor starts to pray and it’s quiet…metaphorically speaking.

No facade there.

Wish me luck in the search…

my little weekend project

charliegirl — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 14:32:33 +0000

before…

…after!!

i also made this ice cream. i’ve had it bookmarked forever, and had some homemade brownies to use up…and it’s already gone, ooops!!

4 months

charliegirl — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 17:20:37 +0000

she is doing everything a baby her age should be doing

(though we still haven’t seen her roll over…she only does it in her crib at night when we’re sleeping!)

she likes me waaay better than her daddy.

i call her “goosie” and “goobie” and “bubby” and “little boobie” (sorry lucy) and lots of other things i’m too embarrassed to admit.

i can’t believe that i’m already starting to research first foods (though we’re in no hurry to stop EBF…when she can sit up we’ll start to think about it.)

she had her first teeny-tiny haircut last week.

she spits up quite a bit, but isn’t fussy unless it’s between 5:00 and 8:00p.m.

she sleeps from 8:00p.m. to 5:30-6:00a.m., then sleeps in bed with me until 8:00 or 9:00. (i live this one-kiddo life to the fullest!)

this morning she locked her little knees and “stood” on my stomach, wearing only her clothie and wool cover while we laid in bed.

her face happy and milky,

her m&m eyes,

her tummy full,

fat arms…

like her daddy always says when he looks at her, “ahhh i can’t stand it!!”

hey, baby.

charliegirl — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 05:03:32 +0000

Goosie.

I can honestly tell you that I think (and think, and think) about every little decision I make for you. And you know what? I think I’m making good ones! I feel peace in my heart! I don’t say that to sound proud, but because feeling confident in myself as a mom is very surprising. I honestly didn’t want to be a mom before you were born, and…to my shock…I’m made for it.

Made to be your mom, at least.

I’m not sure where I’m going here…I think I just want to tell you that I FINALLY ENJOY THIS.

I love you more than anything.

a special day

charliegirl — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 22:36:04 +0000

today is the birthday of pa ingalls, who holds a special place in my heart.

happy birthday pa ingalls.

2012 goals

charliegirl — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 03:21:11 +0000

health//

Try for one green smoothie a day (if you’re curious, the one above contains 1 cup apple juice, 1 green apple, frozen strawberries, 1 frozen banana, fresh spinach/broccoli, coconut oil and chia seeds.) Continue to be intentional, but not fearful or obsessive, about our family eating real foods and good fats; work harder to limit white flour and sugar to special occasions only.

time management//

via

Follow this simple routine in the mornings: Wake/nurse, workout, get ready for day, devotion (I just subscribed to Tim Keller podcasts for this purpose!) The rest of the day, whatevs!

Sketch out my week on Sunday nights using my awesome planner. Schedule in things like bathroom cleanings, baking bread, grocery shopping, laundry, lunch with friends, BIRTHDAYS, even doing my nails–sounds dumb but I think I need to try this.

creative//

via

Less screen time. This means…don’t crack open my laptop until my morning routine is done, and save blog-reading and Pinterest as weekend treats. Can I do it?!

Read for pleasure and write a little each day.

bath time

charliegirl — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 06:00:40 +0000

lucy g after her bath,

smelling like her delicious california baby shampoo.

still warm from the water,

ready to have CJ’s Butter rubbed all over

(even on the bottoms of her feet.)

i dry her hair fluffy and put a fresh diaper on,

then clean clothes,

and i think i’ve never been so satisfied by a simple task.

like like like

charliegirl — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 23:10:39 +0000

thanks, soon-to-be sister-in-law, for introducing me to katie herzig. <3

christmas baby

charliegirl — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 15:37:20 +0000

Lucy, just over 3 months old in her Christmas outfit from Gigi.

She laughed for the first time on December 27th–Jonny and I both got to see it and it made us both all teary. If there’s a better sound than my baby laughing, I haven’t heard it yet.

dear santa

charliegirl — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 12:48:49 +0000

this christmas,

i would like more creativity and less perfectionism, and/or a blank check to use for home decor.

i would like garrison keillor on speed dial, so that we can begin a (platonic) relationship wherein he reads me poems when i can’t sleep.

please santa, i would like genius, and someone to discover it.

i would like my student loans paid off.

also, kindly find a way to make lucy to stay this age forever. though i do want to hear her thoughts…so maybe let her grow to be three years old, and then rewind back to now and repeat until i’m ready to go on. seriously, she’s like a magical caterpillar from the garden of eden that was cocooned and then hatched into the world as a three-month-old baby…

i would like an espresso machine, a kitchen/bathroom remodel, a spiritual mentor, hipster glasses, and tickets to see the black keys.

i would like to discover the secret of contentment.

i would like to spend christmas in new york city with jonny last-minute,

and i would like an english bulldog puppy with all its future health issues pre-paid for.

thanks…i did do that whole natural birth thing, remember…

yours truly,

charlie