26

a few birthday pics from my iphone: twilight tickets from emily, cheesecake my dad made for me, birthday toes and powerberries than i got for myself. thanks to all my family and friends who thought of me…i love you!

i’ve always thought of 26 as this really sexy, wonderful age where you walk the line between youthful woman and woman woman.

a very alive age.

if i’m honest, 26 doesn’t look quite like i imagined it.

it finds me dealing with disappointments, not being where i dreamed i’d be,

longing after glamour and excitement yet often feeling neither in the day-to-day.

asking myself, aren’t you tired of carrying that same old baggage with you? will you let it go? can you let it go?

asking myself where i fall in the spectrum of contentment vs. complacency, driven-ness vs. neurotic-ness.

asking me to embrace my life. what God has given to me.

i have been stretched and challenged in the last few months like never before.

i’ve realized that i simply can’t do everything. i have to choose, prioritize, and focus–and i quite liked my old notions that the possibilities were endless. i’m asking god which dreams to go for and which to let go.

i’ve realized that lies don’t creep out of our lives as easily as they crept in.

i’ve realized time can be wasted doing nothing, or doing too much.

i’ve realized my own plan isn’t usually the best plan (wincing to write such cliche christianese, just please know that i FEEL it.)

26.

not what i imagined, and yet exactly what i imagined.

 walking that line of youth and, i hope, maturity.

 most certainly alive, in the real and raw kind of way.

oh. the sexy part?

maybe true sexiness–confident, contented, womanly sexiness–is earned.

and maybe I’m closer to that than I ever have been.

ps–i also got myself this planner for my birthday. i really am growing up! thanks tara

Advertisement

• turning 26